All these artificial people in this world. What have we come to? No one I really like. But remember, I have me. I don’t want to deal with that bullshit ever again. New chapter. Clean slate. Taking this one pen stroke at a time. No going back. I make my own mistakes.
this day, a life time ago, you left me here all alone. or maybe i left you? there was no explanation was there? sometimes i just want to laugh it all away you know? to now that everything is explained. i don’t have pangs of pain anymore from hearing your name or thinking about you. i know deep down i pretty much love you, you bastard.
but i don’t want to see you again. ever. goodbye now~ a goodbye i never got to say.
it’s a slow process for you megan tran. take it slow and easy, one step at a time. you’re standing again.
for now, i need myself (:
but if i had, one chance..
just in my thoughts at the moment. why say anything when you don’t have anything nice to say? I don’t get any feeling of satisfaction. does it make someone else feel more powerful? I guess it’s not a perfect world. but it would be a more decent world if everyone could be nice.
then there is this problem about being nice. it’s the problem of being stepped on all the time. to tell you the truth, i try to be nice all the time. even if i feel like i shouldn’t be. does it make me ugly though? less desirable? because recently, i’ve been thinking of love and relationships. truthfully, i think about them all the time. to have someone love me unconditionally. i want to be able to show everyone my kindness and passion. but that isn’t enough huh? i know, high school is all surface. and i shouldn’t worry about it now. and i still can’t handle another relationship. his face always flashes in my mind. maybe that’s why it has no appeal to me on the outside. when confronted with relationships and love, my yearning disappears. maybe i only wanted someone to love when i’m alone by myself. so selfish of me right?
if you fall once, try, try again. but a wise person would make sure they never fall right? I don’t want to fall again. trying is hard enough. to get myself to be stronger again. it takes a lot.
there are time when i want to seclude myself from the rest of the world. so that i can get out of my own miseries myself. so that i won’t have to hold onto someone. so i can do it all myself. and if i can’t…